Bringing in the New

Why settle for surviving, or even "well-being", when we can move towards "more-being"?

As I wrote about last week, in saluting 2010 I spent a lot of time reflecting on what I wanted to let go of so I could make room for the new dimensions of being that I wanted to allow into my life.

Now that 2011 has arrived, I have been reflecting on what it is, exactly, that I want to bring in. Have you?

For the last few years I have made a point of making a list at the end of the year of what I have accomplished over the year just past, and another list of what I hope to bring into the year ahead. This is something I always encourage my clients to do as well, and it is a process that is always hightly rewarding.

 This year, my fiance' and I did this together, and talked at length about our accomplishments and dreams for the future on an individual level, and also with regards to our relationship. We had done so in the past, but not with quite the same kind of attention and care, and I must say it added a very special note to our New Years celebration.

It was a lot of fun, and it was also actually pretty amazing to see how far we came this last year, separately and together... and it was exciting to begin thinking of what we hope to bring in during 2011.

What was interesting to me was that our focus has shifted a lot - in years past, even though for both of us our personal and spiritual growth and development is always pretty much in first place, we were still focused a lot on trying to either "fix" what was wrong, or else obtain things we were lacking.

This year, it was interesting to notice that we were both much more focused on what we could create in our lives as individuals, and in our life together. That is such an amazing difference, and it is one that I am ever more aware does not happen because we "will" it to -- it happens when we are ready for it, when within ourselves we have reached an understanding that our life is a constant collaboration with the forces within us and outside of us. It is the result of a shedding of "victim mode" that does indeed require effort, but does not come about by doing battle with ourselves and others, it is not something that we simply think ourselves out of ... it is truly a journey, that requires yes our attention, and a desire to grow, but also a deep receptivity, an ability to accept Life as it is and see its beauty in every moment, even in the most difficult of times.

I realized that what is happening within me is an ever more tangible experience of the distinction that Antonio Mercurio makes between "Primary Beauty" and "Secondary Beauty". Primary Beauty is the beauty of life - it is the beauty of nature, as well as the satisfaction of our essential needs and the ability to live relatively comfortably and happily. Primary Beauty is on one level a given, because it has to do with the gift of life itself, but on another it is something that must be conquered through conscious effort ... because even though we may have the material means to survive, we may be so traumatized that we cannot be truly well or happy, and it can be very difficult to experience inner peace and love for self and others. And there are also many on the planet who have little experience of even having their basic material needs satisfied. So, in any case "Primary Beauty" is often something we have to strive for, to be able to experience it fully. And most people do just this - we work hard to make a living and obtain material security and comfort, and we also make efforts to improve our health and overall wellness. This time of year is when we often set new goals for ourselves in terms of how we can experience and enhance Primary Beauty in our lives ... we decide to go on diets, to quit bad habits, to learn new skills, etc. etc.

I have been mulling over these things these last few days, and I have found myself thinking that Primary Beauty is like "wellbeing". It means there is enough wellness in our bodies, minds and spirits to be able to experience life with relative satisfaction and even happiness. It is true that many of us are lacking in "wellbeing", and so it's important that we allow ourselves everything we need, all the help and support necessary, to achieve Primary Beauty and Wellbeing in our selves and in our lives.

But what comes after that? What happens once we have enough Primary Beauty in our lives that we can live relatively comfortably and happily? Many settle in and enjoy this state of homeostasis .. but many, instead, can feel within themselves that there is still something lacking. Often a crisis can occur even when life is "good" that throws us back into the cauldron of inner and outer turmoil, and we are forced to really look at what we are doing with our lives. When we are struggling we are certain that simple "wellbeing" is enough .... but is it? Once we reach it, where do we go from there?

This is where Secondary Beauty comes in. Mercurio defines it as being a material and immaterial field of energy that is created when two or more people, hitherto strangers to each other, come together in a common project with the goal of creating the fundamental principles of love, freedom, truth and beauty. When people make such a decision to do this, this energy is generated, which transforms those who are participating as well as those who are merely touched by it ... and it is an immortal energy as well, one that is not subject to the laws of enthropy.

I will have to admit that for all the years I have been following Antonio's thought, this whole idea of Secondary Beauty has been a little bit difficult for me to comprehend. Being a person who had to struggle for quite a long time to acquire a modicum of Primary Beauty in my life, Secondary Beauty seemed like something rather superfluous to me! However, within me I felt this concept to have truth to it, and it was also "beautiful", in the sense that it gave me pleasure to reflect on it and it also offered me a feeling of inspiration, something that was worth working towards, something that called out the best within me and nourished my very soul as well.

I realize that it is true that Secondary Beauty corresponds to the concept of "more-being", something that another of my mentors, Dr. Bruno Bonvecchi, has often spoken of (and I hope to have an article of his translated into English soon, so I can put it here on this site). It is an important step beyond simply "well-being". Well-being is something that we can very easily stop at, and settle into the arm chair ... (or at least hope to!) ... it is definitely extremely important for each one of us, but it is not enough to live a truly fulfilling life. Once our basic material, emotional and spiritual needs are met, it could actually be quite easy to fall into complacency, if not outright self-centeredness and self-righteousness ... which seems to be where many of us are at right now in the Western world. Within that complacency, the emptiness can sneak back in, making us wonder what meaning it all has ... and quickly turn our initial satisfaction into a confused search to fill the void with insignificant, if not harmful, things, which often sets us back rather than bringing us forward.

As I mentioned, it was striking to me that I seem to be experiencing a shift within myself, from a focus on "Primary Beauty", or "well-being", to indeed what "more-being" or Secondary Beauty might actually be. The most interesting thing to note is that this is happening within me not because of "things" I have acquired in a material sense - it is occurring because, I believe, I have simply managed to truly place my inner life and my relationship to my Higher Self in absolute first place. I am less confused by its "call" to me, even though I am still not always great at heeding it as promptly as I would like! What is fascinating to me is that the more I let go of my demands for a certain type of "Primary Beauty", the true importance of Secondary Beauty - the ability to CREATE love, freedom, truth and beauty - seems to emerge.

It is a daily choice that I have to make, and there is no question that there are days when I am not sure which direction to take, or if I am really in tune with what is best for me and those around me, for Life itself, or not. I also still make plenty of clearly bad choices!! But I can feel that with the intention to move forward, to be willing to allow myself to be led in this adventure, instead of having to dictate the outcomes, the journey becomes not only a bit easier, but much more fulfilling.

I managed to give myself a lot of love over the holidays, and it was quite a major accomplishment ... but the most exciting thing for me is to see that indeed, when I manage to be responsible for my well-being, when I do all I can to affirm my need and desire for "Primary Beauty" (physical, emotional, material and spiritual health - not in an absolute sense, but doing the best I can), I begin to see that I have gained the right kind of energy to be able to participate in a greater goal, one of creating Secondary Beauty, which benefits not only myself and my immediate sphere, but all of Life itself.

Therefore, in this wish for the New for everyone, I truly hope you can first embrace any call you may have within to move towards greater Primary Beauty during the year ahead, and that while doing so you can choose also to join in some kind of project or goal where you can create Beauty together with others as well. When we embrace the New, when we move towards "more-being", amazing things happen, life is always full of surprises, and perhaps the best part is that we come to understand how important our unique contribution is to the ever-unfolding marvel that is the Life we have inside of us, and that it is our task to express at ever deeper and more authentic levels.

This is certainly not an "arm-chair" kind of adventure, as it requires a continual willingness to step out of our comfort zones and bring forth a creative expression of the divine spark within us, and that can sometimes feel not only very scary, but downright threatening. But once we are past that initial fear, and the sense of lonliness that can come with it, we can come to experience a new flow of enthusiasm for living which has nothing to do with simply procuring material security and predictability.

My greatest wish is that you can all experience this, if even for a moment, so that you can find within the strength and the inspiration you need to move towards the "more-being" that is within you, and that is so longing to come forth and be given fuller expression. This is, perhaps, one of the ways that we can reciprocate to Life, as a gesture of our gratitude for the opportunity to be here, struggling through the fog but also granted the possibility to glimpse the great Love here for us, if we are willing to make the effort to learn to see it, feel it, and pass it on to others. My hope is that 2011 will bring many of us to choose this way, to never settle for less, to cultivate our trust that this is possible, even when we are travelling through dark and painful moments. At the end of every struggle is an opportunity to create even more Beauty, together with those who share our dreams and are willing to make the effort .... the light at the end of the tunnel!

May we all choose to move towards "more-being" this year, and create Secondary Beauty for ourselves, our loved ones, and all of creation! Quite an ambitious wish, I know, but one that I am now certain is the one most worth striving for, and one that brings with it the greatest rewards.